They say, in mental health circles, that recovery is nonlinear. That you do not go in a straight angular ascent from the depths up to some theoretical point of wellness. Is there a point of actual wellness? Is it reachable? Or is it next door to the fountain of youth, or at least in the same postcode?

Tonight I’m feeling none too flash, and I have no idea why. I’m doing everything I would normally do to help encourage recovery and wellbeing. I had a smashingly good weekend with Michelle. I’m hitting my recovery KPI’s like nobody’s business.

And yet, tonight I’m feeling a bit bogged, a bit stuck at the side of the road, hazard lights flashing, waiting for a tow truck.

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